What kind of idiot drives with no lights on in thick fog?
If it's daytime, I don't need lights. Period.
I can't find the light switch.
Be vewwy vewwy quiet -- I'm a ninja!
It's all just a scam, man. The man is just trying to control your mind with all this stuff about lights.
Don't give me that liberal bullshit about "visibility". I can drive any way I want! Lights are for suckers.
(Bonus points for driving a gray car on gray pavement against a gray sky with no lights.)