December 10th, 2010

no help whatsoever, Warning: No Help

This one's for kinkyturtle, among others

For those who think you're sick of Christmas Carols:

I work in a mall.



And this time of year, on the nights that they don't have one badly out-of-tune local chorus or another, they feel the need to fire up their usually-dormant PA-Muzak system and pump the mall full of Holiday Cheer at volumes that, alas, drowns out our store's poor, feeble stereo.

I think they have, at most, three CDs of carols, each of which only has three songs, because any given night, it seems like I keep hearing a given song over and over and over and over. It's a different song every day, but ... yeah, "Little Drummer Boy" is the worst. It seems to play non-stop on the nights it plays at all.

There's also a cover of "You're a Mean One, Mister Grinch", where the vocalist is a female tenor. That's just wrong. If you can't at least make a stab at imitating Thurl Ravenscroft, do not attempt this song.

To my own surprise, I do a pretty decent Thurl Ravenscroft. I only discovered this in the last week, as the_gneech and some others started posting "additional verses" to "Mister Grinch".)

Please note that I don't hate Christmas music in general. I hate badly-performed music, and repetitive music, but by and large, I find Christmas music catchy enough that I'll often absent-mindedly sing along.

I have to watch myself, though, because the lyrics I learned in grade school aren't always ... standard.






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I have no idea where I first heard this, but in junior high, everyone else heard it from me. One year, with a suitable edit to that last line, the school Madrigals actually performed these lyrics in the holiday pageant, and got a standing ovation.