May 31st, 2012

canned hate

You know what? BLEEP this half of the year.

Why do people pretend that summer isn't just a little taste of hell?

Let's leave out the fact that the waking hours and the working hours and the bleeping COMMUTING hours are a stifling, uncomfortable sweatbath. I HATE having to sleep with my door open to avoid baking. I HATE watching my computer get slower and slower as it gets hotter and hotter. I HATE not being able to wear my big black pea coat or anything else with a modicum of style and flair.

I like longer days, but that's IT. You know what? I can turn on a damned LIGHT.

And there we go: the one thing I LIKE about summer -- Daylight Saving Time -- is what everyone else WHINES about.

I swear, the next time I hear the radio blurt something inane about 90-plus temperatures being "nice weather", I am going to turn my car around, drive to the station, and PUNCH someone. It's only "nice" if you can get OUT of it; if you don't have AC, it's just heatstroke.

Don't think I don't know about "real weather" because I live in California, either. That's by CHOICE, and not a choice made in a vacuum. I've traveled a LOT. I've spent summers in Texas and Arkansas and any number of places that get HUMIDITY.

Yes, they're even worse. The weather in every place east of Interstate 5 is more loathesome than where I live. I know that from experience.

Don't tell me not to bitch, though. Ebola is worse than the bubonic plague, but that doesn't mean that blackened, swelling lymph nodes are PLEASANT.

Especially when it happens three to five months out of every single year.

So yeah. Bleep this. Bleep this in the censored with an expletive deleted wrapped in barbed wire and bathed in the blank of blankitty blank bleep.