Are you a demon worshipper? The rather arbitrary list of occult paraphernalia according to the now defunct DemonBusters website. Bold the items you own. Commentary is neat.
1. Occult games (I Ching, ouija boards, tarot cards, crystal ball, fantasy role-playing games such as Dungeons and Dragons) - I have at least three tarot decks, and variations of the last category that would melt the brains of the proprieters of this now-defunct site -- but you know what? I, um, wouldn't touch a Ouija board. I wouldn't even have one in my house. They creep me out, man.
2. Ashes from fire pits, including fireplaces and wood stoves - We have a gas fireplace in this apartment, but we haven't cleaned the charcoal barbecue since July, and there's enough cigarette ash out on the porch to make Mt. St. Helen's feel like a slacker.
3. Robes and detachable hoods - Let's see -- Bathrobe, terrycloth. Matching cotton robes with dragons on them. Two ominous-looking black robes, one with an ornamented shoulder yoke, complete with exotic ritual headwear (from two different college graduations). At least one of my raincoats has a detachable hood -- or maybe it's just one that rolls up into the collar.
4. Gongs, drums and bells - Bells hanging from the front doorknob, more bells hanging from the kitchen door, and more wind chimes than you can shake a stick at.
5. Wooden stand for an altar, a marble slab or crosses -
6. Chalice, goblet, cruet - Cobalt blue, with a dragon on it, and a candle inside! Oooooh!
7. Phallus (sculpture of the male sex organ) - Sometimes a rocket ship is just a rocket ship.
8. Heavy wooden staff, sword, knives - Yes, no, and a kitchen full of'em, duh.
9. Small velvet pillow, scarlet in color
10. Bullwhip, cat o'nine tails, ligatures - Question to my BDSM friends: do bungee cords count as ligatures?
11. Mirror - We've got two rooms that have huge mirrors that take up most of one wall in each. And cabinets with mirrored doors! And... and... there are three mirrors on my car!!!
12. Animal mask, possibly papier mache - Rar!
13. Black satin or velvet glove for the right hand - I have a black neoprene wrist wrap for the right hand. Does that count?
14. Large ruby ring, worn on the first finger of the right hand
15. Flash powder, smoke bombs - Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
16. Incense - Hey, can anyone tell me a good Bay Area supplier for "Dragon's Blood" incense? Our old source stopped carrying it.
17. Body paint, face paint - Nobody in this house even wears makeup.
18. Metal crown with four candle holders - WTF? I agree with Name Withheld By Request; that seems oddly specific, given the broad character of the other items on the list.
19. Ferns, palms - A family of brown thumbs (which is bad, when you're an ecologist).
20. Human or animal bones (especially skull, long bones, finger bones) - I have a chunk of fossilized dinosaur bone, and a bolo tie with a nicely-polished slice of same.
21. Coffin - Nothing a little Robutussin won't fix.
22. Ritual books, black books, diaries (such as the Book of Shadows, which may be handwritten) - Get with the One-And-Twenty, guys. These days, you keep a LiveJournal of Shadows.
23. Medallions with satanic symbols (such as pentagrams, peace symbol, yin/yang, etc.) - Eyes on pyramids, cryptic Chinese ideograms, badges with "funny" comments....
24. Occult jewelry - "Occult" means "hidden", right? And we've got a whole jewlery box full of stuff we never wear... of course, our wedding rings have dragons on them, and we wear those every day.
25. Small animals in cages - I knew it! Hamsters are Satanic!
26. Graph paper for fantasy games - I'll go you one better: I have hex paper. For hexes, right? Right??
27. Oddly shaped dice - There's nothing "odd" about Platonic Solids. Those d10s have me worried, though...
28. Horror masks and costumes - Sadly, my fursuit is still unfinished.
29. Crystals - Quartz, amethyst, salt, sugar...
30. Small metal figurines of mythological nature -
31. Posters of mythological beings, animals, half-animals - Do I really need to comment on either of these?
32. Nightmarish posters - I think I may still have one for the old Glen Larson Buck Rogers series...
33. Sexual, particularly sado-masochistic, posters
34. Posters of heavy metal and punk rock stars
35. Paraphernalia related to the martial arts - such as ninja costumes and throwing stars
20 out of 35 -- do I win?