I really am.
As I may have mentioned in passing, I've recently joined an IRONCLAW campaign that has been running for several months. My character is Lord Nikulai Grigorovich, Baron Niktopolian, a Bat Diplomat, Dilettante, and Journeyman of the Green & Purple College. He's quite the capable Diplomat, completely at ease in the courts of the Rinaldi and the halls of power where the rest of the party still feels rather out of place.
Lord Nikulai is a capable fencer, and can hold his own against most robbers, bandits, easily-offended nobility, and the like. Supernatural Guardians of Ancient Places of Power And Mystery, on the other wing, are a bit outside his field -- particularly when they have no discernable Minds on which to work his magics.
As the combat commenced, the NPC Elementalist who traveled with us began to Summon a Salamander. Unfortunately, he was also the first casualty, as one of the Guardians impaled him with a thrown spear. As the combat progressed, our fighters took heavy damage, but dealt it, as well. Lord Nik stayed in the back of the fight. Given the miniscule damage of his twin Main Gauches, the most useful thing he could do was to minimize the number of Magic Points our White Mage would have to dish out when the battle was over.
Near the end of the fight, the Salamander finally appeared. There were just two of the Supernatural Warriors left. Our fighters were busy (and sorely wounded), our NPC Elementalist was down, our PC Elementalist was almost out of juice (and wasn't Adept at Control in any event).
And the Salamander, of course, appeared right next to Lord Nikulai.
I looked at the Host. "You said that this place is lit by magical torches that have been burning for four thousand years, right?"
"All right. I grab one from a wall sconce and offer it to the Salamander as a present."
Salamanders are, of course, in a continual state of Confusion. normanrafferty has, in conversations past, has said, "If you've read The Anubis Gates, you'd know what we think of Salamanders. 'Show us the TOY! Show us the TOY!'"
I showed it the toy.
It LIKED the toy.
It stared at it for a round, then grinned, nodded, and vanished, taking the torch with it.
I saved the party without striking a blow or spending a single Magic Point.
I am the Diplomat God.
(I do hope the poor thing wasn't too upset when we disabled the Site of Power and all the magic torches went out.)
"Whoa! Usually, it's all 'burn this' and 'incinerate that' and 'waste that guy'. Which is fun and all, but -- you summoned me just to give me a PRESENT? You guys ROCK!!"